Where have I been all my life?


Are we on yet, Frank? Yes? Okay, here we go.

I am a few years into my lifetime, yet I feel that I am only recently having my own private Renaissance. The ‘critical mind’ has been most decidedly sequestered into the confines of a corner of my mind. Oh, baby, let freedom RAINE.

So many reasons to blog such as intellectual and emotional stimulation by others, but primarily to freely express myself while I watch from the bleachers what manifests from my long-buried psyche.

I’m a quiet person that has had very little ‘air time’ in this world of chatty people. Too shy and unsure. In grade school I had a crush on the teacher, Mr. Snyder (yes, I still remember his name and what he looked like 44 years later). The class would be talking and laughing, and I would think of something to add. Since I was too afraid to pipe up, I whispered my thoughts to my girlfriend. She would squeal with delight and, being the boisterous person that she was, repeat my comments loudly to the teacher and class. Everyone would laugh at ‘Sonja’s’ remarks! OMG. It drove me nuts, but I NEVER spoke up.

My repressed verbal self occasionally found an outlet through the written word. I used to write letters (with a pen on paper and sent through the USPS) to friends that were far away. The letters were in the form of stories with funny anecdotes. I was surprised and very pleased at the enjoyment they brought to the recipient. I also used to write skits to my boyfriend that were funny, yet revealing of my deeper feelings re the relationship. He treasured those letters. I asked him to give them back to me for safekeeping, but he would not!

So, all that to say, I am very excited to have an outlet that feels better than a journal with no pressure to be anything in particular. Even if no one ever reads my blog, it ‘feels’ like I’m finally getting some air time. I believe the process will be very cathartic as I explore many things: discover my authentic self that I have neglected for so long, track my progress with my new photography hobby, and engage in dialog with others re this crazy world we call home.

I feel like a kid again — I’m so excited about the myriad possibilities that might evolve from this venture. I am hereby officially released from critical mind and on a mission to enjoy the  “Renaissance Raine”.





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